Today’s post is written by guest blogger Spence Shelton, our Summit Small Groups pastor. A common question I’ve been asked is whether taking medicine to help increase a couple’s chance of getting pregnant interferes with God’s timing and/or shows lack of faith and patience in God’s plan. Here’s a great response by Pastor Spence:
First, I cannot pass up the chance to affirm you and your husband in seeking to become parents! This is one of the great joys of life and callings on us as married couples. You are honoring God in this endeavor, so please remember that. “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.“ (Psalm 127:4-5 ESV)
Ok, four things to remember as you go through the question of using chemical assistance in getting pregnant:
1. Medicine that seeks to reverse the effects of sin on a fallen, broken world is usually a good thing.
For this conversation: we were created to make babies. But one of the many effects of sin on our world is an interruption of God’s created order. While not directly our fault, this is simply sin’s corruption on our world (Romans 8:19-25) and its why we long for a day when sin’s corruption will vanish. In the meantime God has given Christians the task of declaring that hope to the rest of the world in how we speak and live. Desiring to raise up the next generation of Christ followers is one central way we can do that. So fertility medication in itself is not necessarily a bad thing.
2. A good thing can become a God thing, and that’s a bad thing.
While the desire to have children is good, it is so easy for us to allow this to become an idol in our lives. By that I mean our source of joy, security, and validation begins to be determined by whether or not you are pregnant. This is especially likely to happen in this instance because we are (rightfully so) very emotionally invested in the idea of being parents. So as you consider fertility meds, allow the gospel to constantly evaluate your motives. Christ, not children, must remain the center and source of our lives. Otherwise, we will just make idols out of our children as they grow, training them to worship self instead of God. Practically: I’ve seen several couples spend tens of thousands of dollars and many years on fertility meds so they can have their hearts desire. Children had replaced christ as their source of worship. Guard yourself against this.
3. Adoption is not a back-up plan.
A good reading through Romans 8 and Ephesians 1 will show you how God has “adopted” us into his family. So if parenting is supposed to be a reflection to our children of God’s love for them, adoption is arguably the best way to do so. Going back to the idolatry concern, the point is not to create little “mini-me” people who look like me. The point of having children is to raise up the next generation of Christ followers for God’s glory. This frees us from the embedded lie in our minds that adoption is what we do if we cant have “our own” kids. Remember, the goal is to be parents not to be pregnant! For more on this: http://www.summitrdu.com/orphancare
4. Seek counsel from other believers in your life.
Much as you’ve done by asking the question and seeking an answer, I encourage you to be open and honest about this with believers who are close to you in your life. Do you have a small group? One of the best things my wife and I did as we went through a year of infertility was share that struggle with one other couple in our small group who encouraged us and helped us evaluate our motives along the way.
I’d like to clarify the broad term “fertility meds” that was used here a few times. I am a Christian doctor. My wife and I are currently in the process of adopting. We are not, as far as we know, infertile, so I won’t pretend to understand all the emotions wrapped up in this.
I really like your points concerning fertility treatments being ok as long as you have examined your heart motives, etc. You hit it right on here. Medicine is a gift of God to use to help reverse the curse of sin we all live under. This is true for things like the following: surgery to repair anatomical problems, clomiphene to help stimulate ovulation, treatment of conditions like PCOS that inhibit fertility, etc.
However, there is a line that must never be crossed for Christians–IVF (in vitro fertilization). BTW, I’m not saying you support IVF, just clarifying it separate from other fertility treatments.
IVF in essentially 100% of cases, involves destruction of embryos (“babies”)–murder. I will start with where Summit stands, and where specifically the Orphan Care Ministry stands. JD has said unashamedly in sermons that abortion is wrong. It equals murder. I know you agree Spence. As does our entire orphan care team here. And, although it was not specifically outlined in the recent sermon, I would guess that JD and you probably both agree that even early abortions using the RU-486 “abortion” pill equal murder. We have established that life begins at conception (fertilization).
The problem is that with IVF, we are creating embryos well beyond fertilization, making several to dozens of them, using only a few, and storing the rest in a freezer “indefinitely.” There are millions of these in existence. They will ultimately be destroyed. Even in their frozen state, they have been given no chance at life, and therefore we have created life, and murdered it. I know this sounds strong, but honestly, we can’t have it both ways–arguing that abortion is wrong while supporting IVF. It’s a double standard.
I did not always realize this myself, and only did so in college while watching a TV special on IVF. I had been ignorant, and then realized the truth about this. There is grace for those who have tried IVF previously, just as God extends grace to us for angry thoughts that God views just as harshly as physical murder. We have all sinned, and I am no better or smarter than any well-meaning Christian who has done IVF not knowing its ramifications. I just have to share this, so that Christians who believe life begins at conception will not fool themselves into thinking there is any ethical way at all that they could pursue IVF.
Again, your post is great, but I just wanted to clarify this IVF issue. It is where the Summit Orphan Care Ministry officially stands. We are also planning in the coming months to have further in-depth talks and discussion on fertility treatment ethics.
Matt – how dare you compare IVF to abortion. Did you do any further research on the current practices regarding IVF or did you just rely on some ‘video’ you saw while in college x number of years ago? My husband and I are looking into a church and if this is the type of harsh judgement and sweeping statements that are made at Summit – count us out. Way to further the kingdom.
Let me clarify a few things for both of you.
Dr. D–
Very thoughtful, and good points. First, I won’t and can’t speak for JD. He has said in sermons (available for download) that abortion equals murder. He did not specify whether this was abortion a 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, or 7 months, but he did say simply that all abortion is murder. It is also, as far as I know, what most leadership at Summit believes too most likely. If we as a church are going to declare abortion murder, we don’t really have the ability to draw a line that says, “well, at this stage, there are only XX cells, so it’s not murder, but at this later stage, it is.” Most Christian ethicists we fall in line with would argue the most logical point is to declare conception/fertilization as the starting point of life, as any other point is arbitrary. Of course there is a long orthodox/Catholic tradition of the same. Dr. Liederbach at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary has written a lot on this. Also see Dr. Al Mohler for very good articles written in 2006 on IVF and other reproductive technologies.
To your second point–it simply does not make sense to say that I can draw my own line, but not express that as an absolute to others. For example, we believe at Summit that the Biblical model of baptism is submersion, and only for believers. There are many genuine Godly Christians who baptize babies. We will readily declare that as unbiblical in our view, but we won’t denounce them as unbelievers on that account. Likewise, I may believe that someone’s view on beginning of life is incorrect (and therefore someone is guilty of murder), and still believe they are a Godly Christian seeking to follow God wholeheartedly, despite their misguidance in this issue. Just because someone disagrees, does not mean I cannot speak my view as it should be an absolute.
Jenni–
The central message of Summit is not primarily about abortion, IVF, sexual sin, etc. Individual ministries will speak what we believe to be truth into topics such as these, and JD may mention something about a topic like this in a sermon, but you will hear one resounding message over and over again at Summit: The Gospel is central to all we do, and though we are more wicked than we ever imagined, we are more loved and accepted through Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope (not my original words). Our greatest purpose is that Jesus will be made known in the RDU area and around the world. These other issues, though important, are secondary.
However, we do not shy away from speaking truth. I shared the story about college only to show that I am not inherently better, smarter, etc than anyone else, and that there was a time when God opened my eyes about this, an “aha” Holy Spirit moment that radically changed my view on something I had not given much thought to previously.
Now, I am a doctor, which means I have been through 4 years of medical school and part of my residency training. I have also spent countless hours reading scholarly journals, ethical pieces, etc. on topics of reproductive health. Current practices of IVF do involve creating several many embryos in petri dishes. Then, several are implanted into a woman, knowing that many will not implant/survive (greater failure than would occur naturally). If too many do survive, the risks to health are high (eg, “octa-mom”), and many doctors will suggest “selective reduction” (abortion of certain ones, not others). I can see a well-meaning Christian woman rejecting this, despite the health risks. However, there is still the ethical dilemma that you knowingly created and implanted embryos that have a much higher rate of dying than would occur naturally. You have created and destroyed life. Finally, this does not address the issue of the freezers: There are millions of embryos frozen right now–the “leftovers” after someone achieved their pregnancy. There is virtually no chance that all millions of these will be implanted and grow into children, adults, etc. Their moral status is being ignored at the expense of someone lifting up something that is a “good thing” (desiring children) and making it a “God thing” (coveting biological children).
The bottom line is this: We can’t have it both ways, and I have seen far too many Christians intentionally ignore the obvious double standard because of their desire for children.
–For people like you mention, Dr. Dr, I admire the consistency. Even if we disagree on when life begins, at least someone is being consistent in IVF and abortion and the early limits of moral status.
–For others, who state abortion to be wrong, even early using RU-486 or other abortifacients, yet still proceed with IVF, it is a double standard that reflects a heart idolatry issue above all. It simply cannot stand any ethical scrutiny.
Btw, this all comes from me personally. For the orphan care ministry, we do believe that IVF is generally a difficult, emotionally charged topic, that we are planning on discussing further later this year. I am also not speaking for JD, Spence, or anyone else on staff.
Matt,
thanks for looking to clarify. My intent in the email I sent (that was reposted here) regarding the “fertility meds” language was speaking to first stage fertility treatments such as Clomid (Clomiphene) which is designed to help produce eggs for women who are having trouble doing so. I apologize for my lack of clarity. I did try to avoid a sweeping statement by saying they are “usually” a good thing. Treatments such as IVF deserve a more thorough discussion than I provided here. Without research cited though, you have slammed the hammer pretty hard on IVF here in your comment. Let’s talk offline you and I about getting a more complete treatise on IVF together to help our brothers and sisters who are looking into it.
Dr. D, I appreciate your words of caution to drawing a line in the sand. I have noticed however an increasing number of voices on the pro-abortion side of the debate begin to agree that life, or personhood, begins at conception. To say it begins sometime later is increasingly being discarded as a slippery slope position. Again, this could be another post in itself so forgive my brevity. I do appreciate your tone of grace in your comment and hope you sense the same here in mine.
Jenni – I hope you will go easy on Matt and on the Summit. We are definitely a screwed up bunch of people. We love Jesus though and Matt is my brother in Christ (and I love him like it). I promise you will find more things you dont like if you continue looking into the Summit. BUT, I believe you will find people who long to love others as Jesus has loved us. And I think you will find a community of grace who humbly repents and forgives one another when they sin against each other. Thanks for taking the time to comment and I’d be happy to talk further with you and your husband about life here at the Summit.
Matt – I appreciate your response. I do have to continue to disagree with some of your “facts.” As someone who just 2 days ago discussed the ins and outs of IVF w/ her RE (reproductive endrocrinologist), the topic is rather fresh on my mind. As to your point of Octomom, unfortunately she has become the poster child for what most people think of when they think of IVF. There are strict guidelines, not to mention medical ethics, regarding the number of embroys that can be inplanted. Our clinic will only implant 2. I guess your comments hit pretty hard because as you say, you haven’t had to walk in the shoes of a sub-fertile couple. Until you do, I would just ask that you realize that not everything in life is as black and white as we might think. Yes we are called to be speakers of the truth but we are called to speak it with love (Ephesians 4:15).
This is topic is close to my heart and I read all of the comments. Wow, dr. Matt, you were uncompromising, kind, and true to scripture. Spenser, that was a very compromising gravel you made to a very unknowledgeable Jenni. Jenni, I have experienced stage three menopause at 27, secondary-infertility for 8 years, t3 thyroid problems, medically unexplained healing, 4 special needs CPS adoptions, a ‘miracle baby’, and current test of faith regarding fertility. 6 kids and 1 on the way…I feel qualified to say to a sister in Christ, that you do not want to stand before the throne and hear him say, “What have you done? Your baby’s blood cries out to me from a test tube.”